Memories of Joseph J. Szilvasi

All during the Martin Luther King Holiday weekend after I'd heard about the fire at the Emmons Apartments in Huntington, I worried about and tried to locate Joe. My worst fears came true on Tuesday when we learned that Joe was indeed one of the nine people killed in the worst fire in Huntington in 50 years.

What a twist of fate. Joe had just recently moved to Huntington to attend Marshall. He was so happy to be in a place that provided him with services and supports he didn't have before; opportunities that enhanced his independence.

So I could sit here and say, if he hadn't moved, or if he'd found another apartment. But "if's" can drive you crazy. But at least he was happy in Huntington. He had a good holiday visit with his family and was feeling everything was in place and moving in a positive direction when he died.

In the few days after his death, I realized that even though I had known Joe for years, had spent several years with him on the WV Statewide Independent Living Council, had traveled with him to Washington, DC more than once, had talked to him about moving to Huntington; I didn't really know Joe.

I didn't know his mother's name, all I knew was she lived in Pittsburgh, PA. I didn't know he had a sister. I didn't know his ex-wife's name, and I certainly didn't know he had a 17 year old grandson who ended up having to identify his grandfather's body.

I knew Joe was a funny fellow. I knew he was a good advocate and was willing to contact necessary people and organizations to get things done. I knew he was the only one paying attention to my intentions several years ago when my term was up on the WV Statewide Independent Living Council. I knew I really liked him.

One of the things I didn't know was the impact he had made on so many other people. When the memories page was set up on the web site and people started writing in, I began to realize that impact. I also learned about the impact he had made during the Fairshake Network's Legislative Training on January 23rd. We were asked to have a moment of silence for Joe. But then people started asking questions about how they could help his family and telling stories of their memories of Joe.

It made me realize that we don't take the time really get to know people or to tell people how much we care about them, how much we appreciate them and how much we love them when they are alive. We take for granted that they will be here with us and we will always have tomorrow. Some day, we won't.

Ironically, it was 10 years ago this month we lost another advocate, Ron Yost. Now I will have to say I knew Ron better than I did Joe, but I'm not sure I took enough time to tell him how much I cared about him and how much I appreciated him. I know I didn't tell Joe either........

So.........to all of you I want to say thank you for all your work on behalf of people with disabilities. Whether you meet with Legislators, teach independent living skills, write letters or make phone calls, help people find employment, update the web site, answer the phone back at the office, plan and coordinate trainings or the caucus, build ramps, or drive the van to transport people, I want to say I appreciate you and everything you do.

I will miss Joe......

Too late, but thank you Joe, I appreciated your persistence, your sense of humor........I will miss you......

-anne weeks

posted: January 25, 2007

If you have a memory or story about Joe you would like to share and have added to this page, please email Brenda Goodfellow at Mountain State Centers for Independent Living.